I finally receive a letter from the hospital - my 'emergency' referral means I only have to wait five weeks for my appointment.  I'm anxious and nervous to see what this appointment will bring, but all I can do now is wait.

Now I’m not one for sharing the most precious or intimate details of my love life (I don’t aspire to be the next Bridget Jones – although I can’t deny that I wouldn’t fancy the lifestyle!), but I feel this must be shared.  This girls, is how you know you have found ‘the one’.  When a man can make you feel so loved, so adored and so special, at a time when you yourself are feeling at your absolute lowest and totally drained.

Out for a meal with my girls, the night ends with discussions of my hair, and my imminent hospital appointment. We share a few laughs and they ply me with words of encouragement and empathy, but then I hear the words I have been dreading to hear.  I'm told that people have been questioning and commenting on my ‘condition’.  This I can deal with as I guess I have to accept that when my hair is growing increasingly thin, and changing to a nice shade of bright white, I have to expect that people will notice that right?  However I also learn that there are some particularly narrow-minded and ignorant people who are seemingly amused by what they see and choose to gossip and make comments.  I try to end the conversation as quickly as I can, because I don't want anyone to see that it's affected me - but inside I'm distraught.

I drive myself home and I can think or feel nothing but devastation, drastic as that may seem to some, but I really cannot explain or put into words the sheer self destruction and de-motivation something like this can cause.  Tears stream down my face and I'm struggling to focus clearly through the teary image of the road ahead and bright lights of the cars that pass me by.

I get home, and I'm feeling totally deflated - but I brush away the tears and try to hide my feelings as I open the front door.  Try as I might to put on a brave one, my face cannot hide what lies inside and my boyfriend knows instantly that something is wrong.  As I join him on the sofa I start to tell him what's wrong but before I can say anything, he says "Stop".  He places both of his hands on my face, one on either cheek, and he looks me in the eyes and says "You're beautiful, and I love you.  You're my dream woman and I've wanted to be with you for so long, I have never wanted anyone else, and I will never ever leave you.  You're stunning and I love you.  Now tell me what's the matter."

After that, what did I need to say?  

I may not be, or live like Bridget Jones, but I have certainly found my Mr.Darcy